Anorexia Reversed

I think I have a reverse eating disorder.
Is that even possible?
I just don't feel as huge as I know I really am.

Today I was at Les's soccer game and I noticed a lady sitting in the grass.
She had a tight fitting shirt on and low rise jeans.
I could see her entire ass crack.
Now why would you wear something like that if you know it won't look right on you?

Standing and watching the game I just felt normal.
I didn't feel huge. Not one bit.
We went to work out after the game.
Again...didn't feel huge.
Stepped on the scale again.
I don't know why I always do that.
It's not like it's going to go down in two days.
I guess I just have to keep checking.
I didn't realize how puffy I was until I was on one of the leg machines.
The one where you sit and move your legs in and out.
Like the thigh master.
That thing kicks my ass.
I looked over in the mirror and noticed that my stomach came out so far.

Anorexic people look in the mirror and see fat.
Or they just always feel fat.
I look in the mirror and see fit.
I feel lighter than I actually am.
Man...if I lose weight then I'm going to feel like a feather of nothing in my head.